4 posts tagged “music”

This morning I awoke to the sounds of Maroon 5 in my head, specifically I Won't Go Home Without you.  This one has me stumped.  I can think of no one including myself who is going home, let alone going home without someone special.

So I remain in that state of wondering if these songs in my head speak to my subconscious and if they do, what are they trying to say to me??  Or maybe I am just insane as originally thought.  But according to a couple of you who commented on the post concerning this yesterday, there are a few of us with this situation, and so far I have not read anything on any of these peoples blogs that would indicate they are insane - or even on the brink of it.  So maybe what I read is not true, or maybe it is and we are just hiding it very well.

My husbands late wife suffered from multiple personality disorder.  He related to me some of the story's concerning living with someone who was so damaged mentally and it was a hard life he led.  Many times, during her trips to other personalities, she would do strange things, not recognize her husband, run away to get away from Mike, who she perceived to be a stranger.  Then she would wake up in the morning and not remember a thing, wonder why she was were she was (one time he told me about how he set her up in a motel after she ran down the streets of their neighborhood proclaiming that she had been kidnapped by some strange man ( Mike) and pleading for someone to call the police). I can't imagine living like that - on either end- but especially his.  She had the buffer of memory loss, he lived through it all and didn't have the liberty to forget the things that happened.

Anyway, the mind is a difficult thing.

So remember that picture I said I was entering in a Photo of the Month? if not go here .  It was a tight race but in the end I took first place. So I am happy.  I would really like to make something of this passion I have, but I am frustrated as to how to go about it.  I seem to have a knack for photography and I do love it.  I have managed to score a few weddings to photograph...but the well seems to have dried up in that area, and truthfully after watching Oxygen Channels (I think its O) series called Bridezilla...I am not so sure that this is the area I want to focus on.  Great way to make money, but oy the headaches and heartaches that some of these wedding photogs go through.  Pictures of special occasions are linked to such strong emotions, if you are not on the same page with the happy couple or the mother of the bride, it can be a disaster. So I keep searching and researching.

Today is the day before my daughters graduation.  I think I am more excited then she is.  My son and daughter-in-law will be here later today, but they are leaving to go back home on Saturday. Tomorrow night is the night I will see my friend (ex-friend?) and the good doctor for the first time in a long time.  It is not bothering me as much as I thought it might.  What happens happens and worrying or fretting over it will not change it.

1984

My daughter whirled into the house yesterday afternoon after the last of her finals insisting (demanding) I help her with a crossword puzzle that she had in hand.  It had to be done by this morning in order for her boyfriend to graduate, err huh? Her bf is named Justin.  Good kid, just a bit on the lazy procrastination side.  Anyway, the puzzle was based on the novel 1984 - George Orwell.  I read this novel back in my freshman english class (HS) as part of the required reading.  I barely remembered the protagonists name. Winston something or other...oh yeah Smith. So there were a few words that were not filled in, Justin had managed to complete 75% of the puzzle, but he had several things he needed to do yesterday, and asked Ariceli if she would take a look and see if she could come up with the missing words.  She couldn't so brought it home to me.  Ordinarily I would have told her to go pound sand ( well not that rudely, but allude to the fact that I am not here to do her OR anyone else's homework) but it was a challenge to me and there were only 4 words left.  I managed to get 2 more, but the last two left me stumped and scratching my head.  I suspect that the teacher had given the answer somewhere in her lectures on the novel and you would have had to have been there AND listening to get them.  One was "What is the mood set of the novel" This one really had me thinking, I recall a few different moods that the book seemed to convey, hopelessness, paranoia, anger, depressive etc.  None of these fit however.  The other question was "What does the Party not allow?" Well lots of things, privacy, records, diaries, history...None of these fit into the puzzle either.

So now I am thinking about returning to that novel and re-reading it. I might add Animal Farm as well. Oh! and then there was a reference to the book Watership Down that I read somewhere not long ago and thought I should re-read that one as well...

I think sometimes that these books, although they should be required reading in elementary and high school, they should also be required reading as adults.

Well this was a day of rambling, sorry, I know that it can be less then interesting when bloggers go on about the mundane things in their life.

I have a confession to make.

I wake up with a song in my head EVERY morning.  I have done this for the last 15 years or so of my life. I once read that it was a sign of insanity, so needless to say I don't admit this little factoid about me to many people.

But I thought that I would post it here, embrace my insanity. Stand up for all the other insane people in the world and unite! I told my husband this a while back, but he lives with me - he already knows how crazy I am, so it was no big surprise to him.

I do not know where these songs come from.  Its almost as though I have an IPOD, or well in my case, a Zen in my head and it is set to shuffle.  The only thing is that most of the songs I wake up to are not currently, nor have ever been on my play list on my zen or computer. They are a random choosing in my head.

So I am going to try to list each morning just what song I woke up to.  Usually it plays in my head for several minutes after I wake up and it is crystal clear, but as the day wears on the lyrics fade and I forget what I woke up to - much like a dream. There is nothing that would trigger this in the morning.  I don't use an alarm - radio or otherwise.  I have no problem waking up at the appointed time each morning, that is best achieved by not sleeping at night ( I sleep like sh*t and have always been that way) I need a completely quiet atmosphere to achieve that much desired state called sleep so I rarely go to bed with anything on like the TV. I don't know why my head does this, so I just go with the flow.

Today I woke up to Melissa Etheridge singing I Run. 

I wonder if this is a way that my subconscious is attempting to get in contact with my conscious.  Trying to tell me something.  So what is it that I am suppose to run to?  Or could it be I am suppose to run from something? Or is my sub-c trying to tell my c that I need to go for a run to get the old heart rate up and get into better shape.

Ok its just too hot to do this last thing.  Maybe I will just wait to see what tomorrow mornings song choice has to say.